Farmington Hills Real Estate and Events talk Michigan

Yesterday I went back to work for the first time after my wife's death.  It is a slow road back, but they tell me to go back to familiar surroundings.  To friends and family.  So I have come back to the "Rain".  A place I know well and enjoy being with fellow "Active Rainers".  They tell me it will take time to heal and to get on with life.  There is no better place to pass time than here. So here is my first post back.  Tomorrow it will be about real estate.

Thanks all of you for being there when I needed you.  You don't know how much I appreciated it.

So bare with me as I make my way back.  I may be over bearing sometimes telling you all to take a little time off to spend time with your wife and kids.  So enjoy life!

My Angel Marianne has left this earth. 

Marianne passed away today quietly, with family members, and friends crying by her side.  But I can't say that about her life.   She lived her life as an ordinary person, but she made a huge impact on so many lives and touched so many people deeply.  God has taken her and her golden heart to make an angel to watch over us.  No more pain, no more struggle, just peace.

She was a friend to all that knew her.  Words such as sincerity, kindness, special, happy, best person I know were the words people used to describe her.   Her smile, caring attitude, and listening skills made her more than an acquaintance. When she touched your life you were better for it.  I know I'm a better man because of her.  Without her I would have been half the man I am today.  And that's how we need to remember her. 

Sure cancer took her physical body, but her spirit, her smile, her caring, lives on in all of us.  She would feel bad as we shed our tears over her, she would want us to smile and laugh with her.  She would tear up with us right now.

So as she passes on to a better place, a place without pain think on how she impacted your life.  Take those qualities and share them. 

• Marianne was a listener.  A friend that took the time to hear what you had to say no matter how many times you told her the same problem or situation over and over.
• Marianne was an excellent cook and baker.  A person that delighted in making and serving others the excellent things she made.  Whether it was Thanksgiving dinner, or a simple party she made sure you left full of food, drink, and good times.
• Marianne was a giver.  She gave more than she every received.  She gave love and material things.  She would rather give a present than get one.  I can't say that there was one gift I gave her that she had to have.  She would buy Ryan and I stuff just to give stuff.  That was her way.
• Marianne was a crafty person.  She could take ordinary some ordinary items and make something beautiful and extraordinary out of it.  Marianne was in the craft business for only 8 years but people have her crafts 19 years later.  Her unique touches still make people remember her. 
• Marianne was a supporter.  She was there when you needed her.  When you reached out to her she was there for you.
• Marianne is a mom.  A lady full of unconditional love that spoiled Ryan, but made him a fine young man.

So if you take her traits and share them with others, if you have become a little better person........ then Marianne hasn't just passed through this earth quietly.  Marianne will live on through us.  In the little things we do in life for others.  She will be touching us, touching your friends and family, and even the people we meet on the street by being each of us being a better person.  She would want that.

Cancer would not be the winner.  Marianne would be the winner if we take her characteristics and share them.  If we share her love with others then we have helped her overcome the destruction cancer did to her.

So hug and spoil your kids today for Marianne,

               Love and treat your spouse as if it was your anniversary or their birthday,

                       And pick up the phone and call a friend just to talk

                               That will Make Marianne smile from above.

So with a kiss I give my earthly angel, my wife, my love to God to watch over all her friends and family.  She was always an angel, now she is God's angel. 

Goodbye my friend,

                                  Love you always      

                                                                           Russ      

How do you say thank you?

What my wife has taught me - part 5

What my wife Marianne has taught me part 4

What my wife Marianne has taught me part 3

What my wife Marianne has taught me - part 2

What my wife Marianne has taught me

Weare going through a tough time with my wife's cancer, but we have gotten through many tough days with friends and family.  I can't say enough about our circle of friends, neighbors, co-workers, and friends.

As we go through the stages of grief and the cancer process I am cheered up by the generosity and caring of our friends.  My refrigerators have been over flowing with food and my counter tops are full of dessert.  Today was a slow day where only 13 people stopped by. 

They have been respectful, and yet so helpful.  They have vacuumed and served food to the guests and cleaned up the mess after everybody left.  Neighbors have run errands for us.  People have even weeded my garden and ironed cloths.  It is absolutely amazing what people have done.  I can never repay the kindness.

So I simply say THANK YOU to everybody. From the bottom of our hearts Ryan, Katie, and I say thank you for being there.  My wife Marianne can't say thank you, but she would have tears in her ey by all you have done.

My wife has taught me that it pays to be a romantic to your spouse through out your time together.  Marriage or just living together.  We all spend lots of money and do special things when we are dating, but sometimes those special little things go away after time. 

But showing your other half that you care, makes them feel special.

Sure we opened cars doors, or pulled out a chair years ago.  When did you do it last for your spouse?

I know one husband that runs his wife's bathwater now and then and lights a candle.  How about a foot massage or any massage?  How about picking up a inexpensive bouquet for no reason on the way home for work?  How about doing a job she always does to give her extra time for herself?

 I have written I love you in lipstick or shaving cream all across the bathroom mirror.  No she didn't kill me.  In fact she left it up for a month.  I have cut out hearts and wrote special messages on them.  My wife would write I love you on a post it in a lunch she packed.  I have taped a 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper saying I love you in the Fridge or the microwave before.  (Don't do the oven!)

A friend of our quit buying gifts for his wife.  We both told him he was crazy.  Sure your wife might take the cloths back because we have bad taste.  Sure it may not be exactly what she wants.  But something is better than nothing.  Besides take the time to think about what she really wants.  Talk to her and you will learn what she really wants.

A "special" date night out with just your spouse is great too.  Doesn't have to be expensive.  A picnic in the park.  Or even cooking for her.  (I could never do the cooking one because my wife would kill me because I didn't buy the right ingredients)  Though looking back on it she would have been happy with that too.

So be a romantic.  Make your spouse feel special.  It will help your relationship.  This is what my wife Marianne has taught me.

Kindness and generosity.  Kindness and showing people that you care doesn't have to cost much.  My wife liked to do the little things that made people know that she cared. 

At Halloween she would make the neighborhoods kids that we knew a special halloween bag.  It had lots of candy in it, some money, and their name on it.  When we had neighborhood kids help us do something like feed the pond fish when we were gone.  We paid them well.  We weren't cheap.  After all they were kids and could use the money.

When a co-worker was going thru a bad divorce.  We bagged up food, and gave money.  Marianne even went out and made sure her girls had femine products.

When a cousin and an aging aunt were broke and a furnace went.  We paid to have the furnace put in.

My wife cooked or baked when somebody was sick or to say thank you.  Whether somebody took us to a hockey game or did something special Marianne gave back.  I learned never to go to a party or a friends get together without bringing beer, wine, desert, or food.  It was a given. 

When it was a wedding, shower, graduation party.  Don't be cheap is what she taught me.  Sure she even shocked me sometimes with what she gave, but her generous heart always won out.  It wasn't to show off, because we aren't rich by a ny means.  It was just the way she was.

If we went to somebodies cottage.  We brought even more food and drink than if we were going to a party.  The people had left overs when we left.  It wasn't unusual for her to bring two bags of food for a weekend.  She would never be accused of being a mouch or a taker.

When somebody needed a friend, or was going thru a tough time she was there to listen.  She spent hours listening to "situations" that she couldn't change.  But she was there for the other person to let it all out.

But generosity and kindness doesn't have to be material. It can be just time helping a friend sew something, or helping them with a crafty project.  Yes she went over to a person's house once to help their child make something for a school fund raiser.  It was going out of the way for somebody.  It was rushing around to fit it in.  But that's the way my Marianne was. When people come by while she sleeps two of the words they use to describe her are kind and generous.

That is what my wife Marianne taught me.

Violence doesn't solve anything or teach anything.  Marianne and I were raised totally differently.  I was the old fashioned way.  Where a beating with a belt was supposed to teach you right and wrong, where a father worked, didn't have much impact on child raising other than discipline, and never showed emotion.

Marianne on the other hand was spoiled.  She was Mama's and Daddy's special girl.  She was pampered, never hit, and Dad and Mom said " I love you".   She spent time with Mom and Dad because she wanted to.  She learned from them.  We came from two different ends of the spectrum of child rearing.

Marianne's outcome was:

• she was valectorian of her class
• on home coming court
• a great cook 
• a nice sweet kind person
• a great nuturing mother

Mine was a little different until I met Marianne

• just an average student yet had a good IQ
• hated authority
• fought my way through school

With both of us being divorced and Ryan being her son we raised Ryan her way.  I never raised a hand against Ryan.  Sure I was tough and disciplined him.  She would spoil him and I would try to counter-balance the spoiling by making him do things.  Marianne usually won the battles.  She always said he would learn when he had too.

Ryan would have been allowed to live with us until 50, though I used to tell him 18 and out!  Ryan has grown into a fine young man.  Independent, caring, honest, and hard-working.  Sure he was Mama's boy and spoiled, but he turned out right.

As I look over families that beat their kids and are hard disciplinarians I see that the kids tend to be more wild (especially after becoming independent), more anti-authority, and tend to be more violent themselves.   So what I have learned from Marianne that a hug

                                                          or uttering the words "I love you:

                                                              or spending time with them

                                                                  or sitting down and talking with them.

Works better than spanking, beating, or telling them this is the way it is because.....

That's what I learned and I'm glad I did. 

                                         Thanks Marianne                  

As I sit by my wife's bedside I wish to share something I watched her do over and over.  It's something all of us try to learn but my wife had a God given talent.  She was able to engage people like none other.  She had the special talent of anybody that met her, loved her.  She had the special way of engaging people.             

She was like Santa Claus in a woman's body.  Her sparkling blue eyes, infectious smile, and body language that made people feel comfortable.  She was a sight to see with young kids.  She would squat, kneel, or sit and talk to those kids like she was their best friend.  I myself have a voice that scares young kids so I could never do what she did.

She was the sounding board for people's problems.  She would spend hours on the phone, or sitting with somebody "LISTENING" to their problems.  Even if it was the same problem over and over.  That's the way it always was.  Many people get bossy, or irritated in those situations but she would just listen.

Here is what she would do:

•1.   Get down to their level, sit if they are sitting, stand if they are standing.

•2.   Ask questions about the person that she is talking to.  She wouldn't talk about herself, other to identify with the person relating a story of hers that made the person she was talking to realize she was like them.

•3.   Look into their eyes and nod while talking

•4.   Re-affirm what the person was saying

•5.   She would lightly touch the person.... On the hand, on the arm making the "connection"

•6.   But most of all she listened far more than she talked

•7.   Listen, Listen, Listen

It is something we all try to do as real estate people, something we try to learn and improve upon each year.  But my wife had the talent.  I was always afraid she would be abducted by some wacko, because her smile and eyes invited people.  You know us guys we fall for women that give us the time of day, talk, and smile at us.  We take it as this lady likes us.  Marianne could stand anywhere, strike up a conversation, and become a friend before she walked away.

No ulterior motive, but she could "Win friends, and influence people".  That's the way she was.     So I give you her tips to share.  To become not just a better real estate agent, because listening to your kids, your friends, your loved ones will build communication and make you a better friend.

Here is the current Livonia foreclosure listings.  There are 61 Livonia foreclosures as of 7/3/2010.  The have been on the market an average of 59 days.   They range from $19,900 for a 590 square foot Livonia ranch up to $165,000 for a 2100 square foot tri-level.

There are 487 Livonia homes for sale as of today.  Out of the 487 Livonia homes for sale 86 of them are short sales.  Which means that about 30% of the Livonia real estate market is short sales and foreclosures.

More Livonia information

        Livonia MI relocation information

       Livonia first time home buyer tips

       Search Livonia homes for sale 

Here is a retelling of a recent Farmington Hills home inspection with a Michigan first time home buyer.  They called me up to meet.  Not cry, no overly upset but with a few worries.

The Farmington MI home was built in 2002.  But as the Metro Detroit home inspector was going through the home he made these comments:

1. The furnaces were just mediocre quality or average quality
2. The hot water tank was just fifty gallons and that they wouldn't be able to shower and wash clothes at the same time
3. The outside of the house needed painting
4. There is only 9 inches of insulation in the attic.  Since 2002 the code now recommends more insulation than that.

We sat down to talk about all of these things. When you buy a home the quality of furnaces, appliances, water heater, and other items may be of lesser or greater quality that you would buy.  The seller is not going to up-grade a furnace to a better quality furnace if it is not broken. The best thing to do is use the furnace and then replace it when it breaks.  That is unless you want to reduce your energy costs and replace it with a high energy efficient furnace.

The average water hot water tank is 40 - 80 gallons.  Yes the builder didn't splurge on the hot water heater and the home owners didn't know better to ask for a bigger one.  An new one should cost about $500 - $700 depending on the contractor.  Again the seller most likely won't put in a new one because the old one isn't broken.

Outside painting - The paint isn't peeling and yes it does need to be painted.  Because this is a Farmington Hills foreclosure the bank is not going to get involved in maintenance issues.  They are going to tell you no.  They are going to say "take it or leave it".

All of the homes in the subdivision are about the same age.  So they all have the 9 inches of insulation in them which was required at the time.   Yes the Department of Energy now recommends much more but you have to look at the cost to install, the savings you will get, and how long it will take to get your return on your money.   Again the seller is not going to do this.

So when you do your Farmington Hills home inspection or any inspection in the Metro Detroit real estate market don't expect the seller to upgrade working items.

Most sellers will not replace or add to items that are working or sufficient.  It will be up to you to upgrade a working part of the house.  And most sellers will not do common maintenance items unless you push the issue.  Many times it will come down to.... do you want the house as is or not?

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