When I first joined Active Rain there was another newbie that was blogging away at a furious pace. He had over a hundred posts in a month. But he had an "air" to his blogs. He ticked off a lot of active rainers. He received a lot of mean comments and got into a few back and forth arguments. He came across a little arrogant and a lit bit of a know it all. He was telling people who to do things. He made a lot of enemies. He eventually quit blogging on Active Rain.
I read another blog the other day with a eerily similar tone. The blogger said they would never be one of the "in" people on Active Rain. What you have to remember is that as part of the community you want to build relationships. You want referrals from people you know well. Friendly interaction creates camaraderie.
I remember when I first joined AR I posted a blog that stated that the Metro Detroit real estate market was in the dumps and it wasn't going to turn around soon. I'm just one of a thousand Michigan Realtors but I know my market well. Another Active Rainer in another part of the state told me I had a "poor attitude and that the Metro Detroit real estate market wasn't that bad." I didn't comment back or get into an argument.
When you get into an arguement with somebody in person it creates hard feelings. In writing it is even longer lasting. People take written words to heart. They can read and re-read them over and over. Here at Active Rain we are an emotional lot.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't voice your opinions. I'm not saying that you shouldn't put in your two cents. I'm not saying you shouldn't stand up for your opinions. But remember you need to play nice in the sand box. Active Rain is a beautiful place to meet and interact with with other real estate professionals. Enjoy!
photo courtesy of http://www.freephotos.com
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My Month of December quote:
~ Mark Twain”
Russ Ravary
"helping make your move easier"
your local Metro Detroit Realtor helping clients like you sell and buy homes through out the entire Metro Detroit suburbs. I love showing and selling Oakland County and Livingston County Lake front homes too.
Russ
I feel that there is a combination of successful blogging on active rain, building relationship for people to read your blog. The relationship that you build when your read other peoples blog and just good old fashion information sharing.
Good luck and success
Lou Ludwig
For additional information go to www.LouLudwig.Com
Hi Russ, I agree with you 100%, keep things postive. It's best to make no comment at all if you can't say something that will make that person feel great about themselves. The most popular bloggers are the most upbeat and postive. Keep up the good thoughts. :)
I've only seen the supportive side of AR. I would think those with opposite intentions are short-lived here.
If I can offer a worthwhile comment or clarification I do so. If, to do so, I have to be mean I tend to keep my trap shut.
It's true that written words have a longer lasting effect on people - I can think of many that have had positive, everlasting effects on my life. It's always a good idea to choose your words carefully, and as someone once said, "Never put into writing something that you would not want to see on the front page of the New York Times"... Just hit "delete"! :)
Great post Russ positivity is one of the reasons I keep coming back to AR and by the way my point dispute did get worked out. Thanks for your pointers.
Russ,
Great thoughts! With a network as powerful as AR it's pretty sad to see people act that way. I agree with the earlier comment that individuals who have that attitude will probably weed themselves out.
Logan Utah Real Estate
Homes in Logan Utah
Active|Rain is a beautiful place, indeed. I've read many such posts that you describe. Some with an arrogant tone, many argumentative, several extremely negative, etc. All in all the A|R constituency is very positive, inforamtive, knowledgeable, energetic and positive. Not everyone can be everything to everyone .
You are very right and I sometimes regret typing something. I do stand firm in my beliefs and I'm OK with that. If I don't get business because of some of my blogs, I'm just as sure I will get business from them as well. I teach my kids to defend your beliefs no matter what, and I do. But sometimes someone types something hateful and I fight back instead of just emailing something nice or ignoring. Thanks for reminding me to play nice!
You don't know how many times I read a controversial post and want to fire back, as if my views will set things straight. To date, I have always been able to keep from actually responding in writing. AR is probably my best resource when I am seeking the answer to a question, or I simply want to share a great experience or observation. I agree with Russ that we should keep things on the "high ground."
Russ,
Keeping things positive is the only way to go. AR is where consumers get to know you and you build business relationships with others in the real estate field. There is no room for attitude. Besides, would you as a consumer deal with someone with an attitude? Uh, uh. Not me.
Thanks for the reminder. Most of my comments are encouraging and positive, but there is one blogger who really gets under my skin. I decided to stop reading their posts because in the midst of some great information, they seemed to always make many negative comments about new agents.
My wise old grandmother told me to "kill 'em with kindness." That was more than 40 years ago. It still works. My favorite phrase to use when someone wants to argue just for the sake of arguing is, "Best wishes for health, happiness, peace, and prosperity." It truly does kill 'em with kindness, and when they respond with more temper tantrums, especially in writing, everyone can see them for what they are.
Great post. Also Wise grandmother Russel Ray. "kill 'em with kindness". Great phrase also.
Sometimes what you read determines what you write! and sometimes what you read determines who reads you! and sometimes what you read determines how people read you! and sometimes what people have read determines if they would read you! and sometimes what people have read determines what people write about you!
and sometimes what you have written determines what people will write about you!
Thanks Russ. Good to remember. As they say 'don't discuss politics or religion', but sometimes you just have to. I like the 'kill 'em with kindness' philosophy, but that's not always easy to pull off.
Thanks Russ for the post. A lot of good points. It definitely makes sense to play nice.
Russ: I couldn't agree more. If you can't make your point without being snarky, cruel or alienating a group of people, what you have done is to make the opposing point for them. This leaves no reason to comment. Next!
Sometimes the writer has not been snarkey, cruel, or rude, Sometimes the READER is in that kind of a mood and that's the tonality they impose on what they are reading. This here lies the problem with communicating with out the other part of Audio and Visual "Tonality" and "Body Language" to truly interpret accurately what is being implied.
Russ, I agree with you. I think the biggest part of AR is the relationships you develope. I have someone that just posts posts posts. They have posted almost 700 posts, mostly property listings, and have only made 65 comments. I guess I am here for different reasons.